His white china doll
by Arouuuna
Summary: Disguised as a man, I came to the east end of London following the help of Frances and Frankie Shea. What started off with the intent to avenge the death of my parents, ended up being something more dangerous, twisted and dark. RonnieKray/OC, ReggieKray/ OC, slow burn, slight AU, adult themes, (WARNING) M for a reason- future non-con.
1. Chapter 1

His white China doll

Summary: Disguised as a man, I came to the east end of London following the help of Frances and Frankie Shea. What started off with the intent to avenge the death of my parents, ended up being something more dangerous, twisted and dark once I was involved with the Kray twins, especially with Ron. RonnieKray/OC, ReggieKray/ OC, slow burn, Gender Bender, adult themes, (WARNING) M for a reason- possible non-con in future chapters!

A/N: Apologies for:

my poor English, expression, grammar, and what not. I am a noob to writing so the accents would have to be imagined. I am not sure how to do the dialogue with the accents.

if the characters are not portrayed the way it appeared in the movies, or how they were in real life.

if anything in the story is incorrect or does not follow facts or the movie.

I will try to follow events from the movie and the characters looks are based from the movie.

Disclaimer: I only own the character Elise.

 _Chapter 1:_

London in the 1960's, everybody had a story about the Kray brothers. It was also during that time that there had been a wave of Chinese immigration, but my mother had been here long before that. She migrated with her family; her father was in the tea business and decided to make the move. Anyway… enough with my family tree and history lesson.

I was not completely Chinese like my mother, as my father was English. They met during University and fell in love. Both came from wealthy families but were then disowned for their relationship. They left central London and made their living in Soho, by having a little Chinese restaurant. Then I came along! Their only child.

I did not fit in anywhere, and was teased for my weird looks. I didn't look Chinese or English I looked like a weird mix. I was told I had an unconventional pretty face by friends and my parents, but that doesn't hide my height and body shape. I was tall, broad and had a flat chest. I looked just androgynous, anyways enough with my self-loathing...

We were happy. The business was doing okay and I helped my parents out. We weren't rich but we got by. We were in Soho where the night clubs, bars, and sex industry has been increasingly popular. We tried to not let that bother us, but I know my father would stay late unable to sleep, figuring out what to do.

George Cornell (with the support of the Richardson gang) was eyeing the area for a place to open a strip club. That didn't make sense as the Richardson's hail from the south side of London, must be George Cornell's idea. Our little restaurant was a prime spot, being on a corner in the cross road near a busy area. We have had a couple visits by the Richardson gangsters offering to buy it, but their patience grew thin as my parents refused.

Then that horrid day happened. The Richardson gangsters stormed in, our customers fled after sensing trouble. I was just about done washing the dishes that night when I heard yelling. I dropped the plate in the sink and was about to run out before my mother stopped me. Her grip hurt, she was unbelievably strong for a tiny little Asian lady.

"Ouch, mum what is happening? Please let go...I'm going to help da..." I was cut off by her. "Don't you dare go out there! Go upstairs and hide. Don't come out!" She looks at me for some time before turning to join my father in the front of the restaurant. I didn't know at that time it would be the last time we spoke.

I did as I was told, I ran upstairs and hid my wardrobe. I didn't know what to think, I had no idea what was about to happen, but I did feel terrified. I heard the commotion downstairs, and then I heard gun shots. I froze and began to cry uncontrollably. There was nothing after that but silence, and then I heard footsteps of men who made their way upstairs. I covered my mouth, but could not control the crying. I panicked and burst out of the wardrobe and attempted to jump out the window, but I buckled. That was when someone pulled me to the ground by ankles.

"What do we have here? "One the gangster questions amused. "What da ya want us to do with her George?" George Cornell, one of the Richardson gang's associates.

George then leans down and looks at me, "hmm, it's going to be costly paying the cops off with tonight's murder and all..." All I could do was cry and tried to wrestle myself loose. "Oh shut her up!" George demands. I tried to struggle free but it was no use. They gagged me while he continued to talk.

"I got a headache, don't wanna think..." He looked back at me with a smug look "...could just sell her to a brothel to make some money. We'll need it. There is lots of brothels here, bound to be one who'll buy her. Throw her in the boot of the car for now, while the lot of ya clean up this mess!". He turned to leave while they tied my hands together behind my back and dragged me downstairs. I then saw the bodies of my parents, laying there lifeless. Again, all I could do was cry.

The streets were quiet that night, not surprisingly as it was past midnight. In the distance, uncle Eddy (not by blood) walked up wearily. "Elise...Elise is that...". He stopped and looked at the gangsters before he realised what the situation was, and looked into the window of the restaurant and was frozen by shock. Uncle Eddy had difficulties sleeping and would often go for walks this late, he didn't live far from us. I tried to yell at him to run, but my voice obviously came out muffled. I struggled and tried to break free from the gangsters grip before another gun shot went off. They shot uncle Eddy... I cried but took that chance to break free while they were distracted. I used my height to my advantage. I dropped to the ground, with my weight and height causing them to lose grip. I tripped one of them to the floor by kicking him while backing my head violently into the crotch of the other one. I somehow managed to get myself upright and ran. George tried to shoot me but missed. I did not stop to see what happened that after that.

I ran as fast as I could that night, I was cold, numb, and did not know what to do. I hid in someone's backyard until dawn approached. I decided to disguise as myself as a male so they would not recognise me. I stole male clothes off the line, changed into it and tucked my hair under the newsboy cap. I climbed over the fence and wondered the streets at a loss what to do.

I did not have money on me and did not have any other family. I could not visit my friends as I did not want them in danger. What George Cornell and his men found me. I tucked my hands in the pocket and pulled out some money and looked at it. I did not have energy to be excited, but I counted it. I walked past a store and bought an apple. That was all I could afford. I sat outside on the side of the road while I ate it.

Then a friend recognised me before calling out, "Elise! Elise...Is that you?!" I panicked and dropped my apple, and ran across the road to shut her up. She looked at me confused, "what are you worried about, and...why are you dressed like that? I cannot actually tell if you were a boy or a girl" Ignoring that upsetting statement that triggered my insecurities, I replied" Frances?...well...long story.." Its been sometime since I seen her, she moved to the east end of London. Was it okay to tell her what happened?

She stared at me expecting an explanation, I snapped out of my thoughts "Well...Where you heading? She looked disappointed at my reply, "Well I came to get Asian groceries for my mother, they don't have them east end. Why? You are heading that way too?" I look at her again at a loss what to say. I decided to tell her bluntly, "my parents were murdered by the George Cornell and the Richardson's gang, and now...I got nowhere to go.." She looks at me wide eyed, " well...well...that..." She cleared her throat and grabbed my arm, "come with me". I trailed behind her observing her, she was petite and oh, I was so jealous of her physique.

She led me to a car and pushed me in before I could protest, I heard a male's voice. "Frances! Who's..." He looked at me, "E..Elise?.." I looked at him, "Frankie?" He smiles and laughs in excitement, " Oh my! Long-time no see!.." Before he could go on, Frances cuts him off, "Frank, her parents were killed by those gangsters that your boss wanted to get rid of..." He looked at me with disbelief and then back at his sister. "I..I'm..so sorry...". All I could hear in that sentence was that 'his boss' wanted to get rid of them. I did not cry as I was numb. I looked down and then back at him, " you said your boss wanted to get rid of them? What does that mean..." He chokes, then started to stutter, "well...well, that.. Umm". Frances answered for him, "He works for the Kray brothers..."

How strange was this conversation I thought to myself, no one mentioned reporting this to the police. Instead we are here talking about...gangsters.

The car was filled with silence. Frances decides to speak first, "well, you should come stay with us..." She nudges Frankie, "yeah, I mean we are on the East end of London where the Kray brothers are. The Richardson's won't come anywhere near us, not sure about George Cornell thought...but at least you'll be safe" I shot a look at him making him lower his head apologetically. That is the second time the Kray brother's name was mentioned. What should I do? I had nowhere to go, and all I could at this point was accept. So I agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Getting past Frances' and Frankie's mother was not that hard, she was excited to see me after so long. I wonder how long it would take before she started asking questions. Frances lied to her and told her I was looking for a job in the East end after having a fight with my parents. I decided to continue disguising myself as a male, and requested that I being a woman was to remain between us. Frankie gave me some of his and his father's old clothes. I would not fit into Frances or her mother's clothes anyway, and I also did not have money on me.

I tried looking for work and was unsuccessful. I am grateful that the Shea family has been hospitable towards me, but I know cannot continue relying on them. I did try to help them here and there. Mrs. Shea particular enjoyed the fact that I would cook Chinese dishes.

I was home alone most of the time, at times they were home, at times they were either working or out. I kept hearing them talk about the Kray brothers and never really stopped to ask Frankie about them. I was too consumed by what happened to my parents and Uncle Eddie. Then it hit me, revenge, I wanted to put a bullet in-between George Cornell's eyes. How could of I achieve this? The answer was...working for the Kray twins.

I worked up the courage to approach Frankie about joining their gang. I walked to his bedroom and knocked on his door, "erm…Frankie, could I…er...talk to you about something?" He sat up from his bed abruptly and nodded, "sure, come in" I closed the door behind me and put my hands in my pocket and looked on the floor while my toes played with the mat. It took me awhile to start the conversation, but thankfully he sat there patiently. I was not good at talking to people, and again I bluntly blurted out what I thought, "Frankie, I want to work for the Kray twins…" Frankie spat out his tea out of shock, I looked up to see his tea dripping down his chin. "Wait, you want to do what? Do you know what you're saying?" He wiped his chin before continuing, but I cut him off. "Frankie, I know what you are thinking…but please let me do this. I am so consumed by hate and anger. I need to avenge them…I am begging you please. I don't have anything else to live for…" I took my newsboy cap off and squeezed it.

I hear silence, and looked up at him and looking at my hair, "oh, that…I decided to fully disguise myself. What do you think? I cut it this morning when you were all out…" I had decided to cut my hair, it was the same style as Ron Kray's, but at that time I had no idea. All Frankie did was sigh, and after a while he nodded. "I..I'll see what I could do…Are you absolutely sure? Elise, this isn't something easy…it..." I cut him off again, "I know Frankie, this is my choice and I will look after myself. Thank you. You always had a kind heart. I will be okay" I smiled at him before turning around to let him rest.

That next day, I woke up later than usual. I must have fallen asleep late, as I couldn't sleep. Frankie slept in late that day as well. I hope he was not up late thinking about what I asked of him. I made my way downstairs when I heard Frances calling out to Frankie while talking to a man, at that time I did not know that it was Reggie Kray, and did not pay attention to the way he looked. I overheard Mrs. Shea and Frances arguing, and only then did I realise that was Reggie Kray. Frankie was making his way out before I caught him by his arm and reminded him about our conversation last night, he nodded and was then on his way.

I waited for him that night at the bottom of the stairs, when I finally heard the key turn in the door. I bolted up and opened the door. It scared him as he was probably not expecting that. He walked in and turned around, "they agreed…" before he could finish his sentence, I jumped for joy and hugged him. "However, they only wanted to meet you first before deciding. That was the best I could do. So prepare and join me tomorrow" He said as I got off him. "No! Thank you, that is great! Thank you so much Frankie!"

That night, I was jittery, nervous, anxious and scared. I could not help but only think about how the meeting would go tomorrow while Frances was talking. I felt horrible for not listening, and she seemed so excited about the date she would be going on with Reggie. "Elise…Elise…you listening? Is everything okay?" She sat beside me, and I looked up at her "sorry Frances, I don't mean to be rude. I am just tired. I am happy that you're happy, but…"I decided not to continue with what I wanted to say, I wanted to warn her about Reggie and be careful, but it was not my place. Besides, she probably heard an earful from her mother. "Never mind" I simply replied, and continued to talk to her.

That morning came. I woke up, slicked my hair back and picked the best suit I could find out of the hand- me- downs. Frankie was waiting for me at the door way, I still remembered the look on his face when he saw me, "Wow, Elise…you…you look. Great…very ahh…handsome…That is strange for me to say, you're female…" I smiled, "Thanks Frankie. Oh! That's right, what should my name be? Elise will not do...hmm…Elliot. Call me Elliot" He nodded and we were then on our way. I wondered what was going through Mrs. Shea's mind as she did not seem too pleased. It was only a matter of time before I had to move out, but that was the least of my worries for now.

When we pulled up to the Double R club: the Ivy house, I remember feeling like my heart was going to jump out of my throat. When Franke patted me on my shoulder to snap me out of my thoughts, I jumped. He smiled at me before getting out of the car, I soon followed. Before we entered, he turned around, "you sure you want to do this?" I nodded and we proceeded in.

There were customers in the club. I am guessing they were regulars. We walked around away from the main area where the Kray twins were along with their men and associates were. All these tough looking men in their suits, I felt so out of place. And then, that moment came, the first time I laid eyes on the Kray twins. Reggie was leaning against the bar while smoking and having a pint. He looked sharp, charming and in control. Ronnie was sitting in a booth nearby with two other men by his side. His had style, well both the brothers did, but his was just that little more…I'm not sure how to describe it. He appeared bigger than Reggie and more intimidating, that frown, those glasses, but specifically those eyes… they looked chaotic.

They didn't seem to notice me, but Frankie walked up to Reggie and whispered in his ear. He then turned to me. It was his first time he laid eyes on me. I panicked and looked down. "Come here Elliot" Reggie demanded. Everyone stopped what they were doing and all eyes were on me. But the one person's stare that made me want to run was Ronnie's, and even though he was surrounded by the smoke from his cigar, his eyes stood out. He was running his eyes up and down me, and when I caught him staring, I again panicked and looked away.

"Frankie here says you wanna work for us… and that you wanna be a gangster." I stood there fidgeting with my jacket and nodded. Reggie sits up and then put out his cigarette. He eyed me up and down, oh god how I hated that. I then grounded myself and reminded myself I was disguised as a man and should act like one. I straightened by back, put my hands in my pocket and looked up. "What can you do for us…can you fight? Can you kill? Can you steal..." His look was stern. I couldn't talk at that time, gulped and was choked for words. There was silence before he giggled, followed by everyone else. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. He soon stopped and looked at Frankie, who was looking down and fearful of what was to come, and finally back at me. He lit up another cigarette before continuing, "Look, since it was Frankie who asked…I'll do him a favour…You trust him right?" He looks at Frankie, who nods, and then continues, "won't have ya joining the boys out there, we'll just start you off working in the club, waiting, serving and what not…and see how you do" I wanted to protest, but it was the best thing at that time. I just nodded. He then waved his hand, "off you go, you start Saturday night…" I turned to leave followed by Frankie who turned to Reggie, "I'll be right back Reg…just gonna…" He points at me. Reggie nodded and waved his hand at Frankie in acceptance. Just as we were about to leave, Reggie spoke again, well it was more like a threat, "...Oh…If I catch you up to anything, lying, or trying to fuck us up. We will kill you…" I again nodded. And that was that, the beginning of my involvement with the Kray twins. Little did I know what was about to follow. At that moment in time, my focus was to gain their trust. What the fuck was I thinking?


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry, this ones a short one...

Chapter 3:

Saturday came around fast, for both Frances and I. The only difference was that I was going to work with the goal of becoming a gangster, and she was going on a date. The pretty ones always got dates. I never got to experience dates or falling in love, which leads me back to connecting it to the fact that I looked androgynous, and always becoming 'one of the boys' if I was to make friends with guys. Any way…

Frances looked beautiful for her date. Reggie can definitely choose the pretty ones. The moment of admiration ended after hearing Mrs Shea yelling from downstairs. What else could she be yelling about? I could understand why she'd be upset. Her daughter was going on a date with Reggie, a gangster. Wonder what was going through Frances' mind. In hindsight, I was too caught up with my issues to look out for her. I was thankful that I was able to sneak out before Reggie came and picked her up. Frankie was told to pass on the message that I had to arrive before the club opened. So I did. I had to get there myself as Frankie was off that night. He did offer to accompany me, but I declined. I was so nervous, my legs felt weak and had difficulties breathing. Strangely, I was comforted by the fact that Frances was going to be there.

I remember standing outside the club looking up at the sign and feeling a roller coaster of emotions. I told myself that I cannot blow this, and if I did, I would not be able to avenge my parents and Uncle Eddie, or worse…end up dead.

I was distracted from my thoughts when a big bald man walked out the door. He silently looked at me and for the longest time, and damn my muteness when it comes feeling anxious. He lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in my face. I coughed of course and finally worked up the courage to speak to him. "erm...how…how do you do...?" really Elise, that is the best you can say... He stood there smoking, so I tried again. "Hi, I am Elliot… I er...Reggie gave me a job here? I came in with Fr..." Finally a reaction from him, "yeah...with that Frank kid...I remember! Welcome lad, my name's Pat" He stuck out his big hand and shook mine. I think I did really well hiding the pain, my hand felt broken after it. He opened the door and I made my way in. I walked up to the bar and stood there looking around before hearing someone speak to me "Heya, lad, you must be Elliot" he was old, he put his hand out, but thankfully this hand shake was not as painful. "My name is Gerald, Reg told me to look after you and train you", I smiled and made my way around the bar.

The job was fairly easy. I mean I worked in a restaurant all my life, so it was not that much of a difference. All sort of people were there, famous ones and important ones. I ignored that, as it never mattered to me, all I could think of was becoming a gangster. The night went fast as it was busy. I didn't even get much of a glimpse of Reggie and Frances.

We were just about finished with the cleaning, when Reggie decided to check in with Gerald with how I was going. When he finally came up to me, I remember how much of a fright it gave me. "Elliot...how'd it go?" I jumped and turned around, luckily the glasses that I was carrying did not drop, and somehow I did not stay mute and replied, "Yeah, it was good Reggie. Thanks". Wait was he not with Frances. Did he come back after taking her home? I am guessing the date went well, he seemed like he was in a good mood. He then spoke again, "Gerry here said you did a good job, keep up the great work" and that was that, he walked off. At least this conversation went better than last time. I went home and slept so deeply that night.

Following that night, Frances looked like she was on cloud nine. Not even her mother yelling at her could bring her down. I was only working nights and that was on the weekends only. So I had to hear all about it when I was home, but I did understand how she felt. She did not know I was working for the Krays, imagine if she did. I am not ready to stand on my own two legs yet, so best to keep it a secret for now. I felt so guilty.

One night, Frances and I were up late talking and drinking tea. She was telling me about her dates with Reggie. It appeared to me that she was completely smitten with him. It was nice seeing how happy she was, and she had this glow about her too. I only hoped that she would not get hurt, I wished I would have looked out for her. At some point, she began telling me about meeting Ronnie Kray. I asked her what she thought about Ronnie Kray, she told me he was funny. But her face said otherwise. I decided not to push the subject and asked more about her dates and Reggie. I thought to myself then, that she was in denial about the Kray twins. I only hoped she knows what she was doing.

Over the next few weeks to couple of months, it was quiet. Nothing eventful happened. I was working, Frances was dating and Frankie was still driving Reggie Kray around. Oh, wait there was one thing that made my skin crawl though. Ronnie Kray. Every night I was working he was there with the same person, Teddy. You see, it was his stare. He would sit there staring at me from time to time, and I did not like it. Teddy stared too, but it didn't bother me. I soon learnt later what Teddy's stares meant, but I'll explain later. The best I could do was to ignore him. If I stared back too long, it felt like he could see right down to my core. I sure hoped he did not suspect me for anything. I would over hear the boys say that he was a paranoid schizophrenic and that he was bat shit crazy. I sure did not want to get involved with that, but I eventually did, didn't I. But I'll get to that later.

So my next conversation with Reggie was pleasant again. He seemed awfully in a good mood, I guess between dating Frances, 'the business' going well, and gaining ownership of Esmeralda's Barn would have been the reason. Reggie approached me one night, again startling me. "You're one jumpy fucker aren't ya? Look, we need workers over at Esmeralda's Barn. How about working there on the weekend nights and couple of days here" I looked at him a squeezed my apron, "uhh, Reggie..I've been…" He put his hand up, "I know, I know, you wanna be gangster…still on probation lad, working here couple of days during the day time will allow you to be around the boys. That will allow you to listen in on our conversations and understand how things work. That's as much as I am willing to have you doing now… got it? He points at me and I nod, "yes, thanks, Reggie". I went to continue with the cleaning, but Reggie turned around and continued talking. "Oh, by the way, it was Ronnie who suggested moving you to Esmeralda's Barn. He said his noticed how well you worked" With that said, he was on his way. Why did he tell me that? I did not know what to do with that information. It made me feel uncomfortable to be honest. I looked over to the usual spot where Ronnie sat and caught his stare again. He was getting up to leave, and for the first time, he nodded at me as he made his way out. What was my reaction? Well, I froze and did not do anything. I remember Gerry telling me that I looked like I saw a ghost. I think I would have rather seen a ghost to be honest.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Before starting work at Esmeraldas, I was requested to go in. They needed me for a fitting of the new uniforms for the workers. I was really nervous as it'll require me being touched for measurements. Well, firstly I don't like getting touched, and secondly what if someone figures out that I am not a male?! Well, then again I am androgynous, hopefully it'll go smoothly…and well, it did. I noticed at that time that I was getting more use to the idea of be being a male. Sadly, I think I am better at being a male.

I started working at the Double R club: the Ivy house two days and the weekend nights before I began working at Esmeraldas barn. I finally got more of a foot in the door and began listening on the boys talk as I worked. I overheard them speaking of usual business, the Richardson gang, but no mention of George Cornell. I would wonder how'd I react if they did, I was already so anxious working there, not to mention having to dodge Ronnie's stares. Speaking of which, we did not have another 'encounter' after the last time. At the time, I still have not figured why he would recommend me to work at Esmeraldas barn…But I was soon to find out why.

One particular morning, I walked in and it was quiet. "Gerry, where…are all the uhh… boys?" I asked him, and he answered "Oh, they are having breakfast at Pellicci's… and I heard they were asked to meet up with the Richardson's…" I cut him off before he could finish, "WHAT? WHERE?...IS GEOREGE CORNELL GOING TO BE THERE?" I was huffing and puffing. Gerry looked at me confused before opening his mouth, "firstly kid, I don't know and secondly, why George Cornell?..." I settled back down and cleared by throat before answering him, "that uhh…I just wondered if they were…all there…because…it sounds like it gonna be a big..fight…I uhhh feel… left out…" Gerry looked at me before he began laughing, "oh, that's right, you wanted to be a gangster…" He carried on with what he was doing and so did I. That day, I experienced a whole range of emotions. I wanted to get my hands on George Cornell so bad, he killed the ones I love, and I wanted revenge…

It was useful working there during the day time, as I hear a lot. I heard that on the day of the world cup final, Charlie Richardson was arrested, leaving London open for the Krays to grasp. I remembered to keep my cool, wouldn't want them to be suspicious as to why I had a vendetta on George Cornell. I don't want them to start asking questions. I didn't hear anything self about him, so I assumed he was still out there somewhere.

With that aside, I started working at Esmeraldas barn. Boy was the place beautiful! It was stunning, and our uniforms were amazing! I remembered looking around and noticing that most of the employees were young…well…good looking men. I was the odd one out. I actually miss the Double R club: the Ivy house and Gerry. I did not know anyone here and I had to slowly get to know everyone. With that said, James was the first to approach me. He began looking at me strangely before asking me, "what the hell are you?...I mean, where are you from? I can't pick it…" I smiled and answered him, "I am…uhh…half Chinese half..English.." I looked down at my shoes before hearing him whistle, "whoa! What a mix eh! Nice to meet you, I am James. I work over at one of the gambling table. I am new too." I looked up and smiled, "Nice, I work at the bar". I settled a lot better knowing I had a 'work buddy'. Work was obviously fast paced as it was so busy. The rich and famous was amongst the crowd and business was booming. This is when the drama really began…

I would see Frances here from time to time, but we agreed to ignore each other. She looked absolutely elegant and classy. Reggie and Frances looked like the perfect couple. Ronnie and Teddy found a spot to regularly sit in, but I paid no attention as it was busy. James caught me looking around one night and asked me what I was looking around for. I shared my thoughts with him and asked if he thought that it was weird that only young good looking men worked here. I remembered him laughing at me. I thought to myself at that time how stupid I would have sounded to him. He then answered, "Well, that is because Sir Ronnie over there wanted it that way…" he snickers and looks at my confused face and continued to say, "…well, his a homosexual…" I wondered what my faced looked like to him, as I was frozen and my jaw was dropped to the ground. "He..he..wha…what?..." He gave me a look before continuing to inform me, "so be careful...because if he has his eye on you…run the other way" He winked and returned to his table. Ronnie Kray…Gay?…I had no time to process it as I had to return to the fast paced bar work.

One night, I remembered seeing Frances extremely upset as she walked out of the bathroom. I couldn't help and want to comfort her. We were in the bathroom hall way, no one would pay attention. "Frances… Are you okay…Wha..Whats wrong? Talk to me please…" I held her arm, she looked up at me, "Reggie, he…his appeal was not approved and he…has to go and turn himself tomorrow...to gaol…" She burst out crying and I hugged her. She was so small in my arms. "How…for how long?" I asked her, and she looked up at me while she was still in my arms, "six months…" Selfishly, all I could think of was that how the hell could I be a gangster if he was gone for that long. That is six months I will be doing this bar work?...My thoughts was interrupted when Reggie ran around the corner looking for Frances. He caught us hugging and gave me a look like he wanted to kill me. It then occurred to me that I was a male in their eyes and quickly let her go. "Reggie..I…she…" I stuttered and before I could explain, he slammed me up against the wall. It felt like my rib cage was crushed. All I could manage was to cough. "WHAT the FUCK! Do you think ya doing?!" I wanted to reply, but I could not. I felt the air has been crushed out of my lungs. Even though I was the same height as him, I was not strong as he was. I remember seeing Frances crying and trying to calm Reggie down. "Reggie! Let him go! Please he was just comforting me, nothing else was going on! Please!" Reggie just saw red and appeared not to have heard her. She tried again, "Please Reggie! He was just comforting me…" she looked like she knew that it was not working, so she decided to say the most outrageous thing she could think of, "…Reggie…HIS GAY FOR GODSAKES!" With that said, he dropped me to the floor. He was still breathing heavily and then fixed his hair. He looked at Frances who took off, and then followed. I then tried to compile myself and noticed Teddy standing there watching. We locked eyes for a moment before he walked away. All I could do was get back to work.

James walked past me while I was heading my way back to the bar. He grabbed my arm, "hey, you alright?" I looked up at him, obviously shaken up, "I...I uhh…I was caught hugging Frances and…she yelled at to him that I was…well…gay…so he could let me go…" I looked up at James and he looks at me surprised, "you're gay?" What can I do now, I cannot deny it right? Things would not match up if people talk. So I nodded. He breathes out, "nothing wrong with that…just be careful aye…things will be okay" He patted my on the shoulder, winked and walked off. He was so warm, caring and friendly. I wished I could confide in him, but I could not risk it. As I made my way back, I saw teddy whispering something to Ronnie. Ronnie looked up at me and nodded again, this time lifting his glass at me. I fiddled and looked around nervously, and then nervously smiled before taking going back to what I was doing.

Frances was heartbroken as she was not able to spend that Christmas with Reggie. My mind was occupied with memories of spending Christmas with my parents, Uncle Eddy and close friends. I tried comforting her as much as I could, but between working and trying to keep myself as a male, I had my hands full. She continued to attend college, and I continued to work. No one at work asked me anything about being 'gay'. Guess James kept the secret. God bless him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Frances told me she spoke to Reggie regarding our hugging incident. She said that he promised to let it go, and apologised screaming out that I was gay. I told her not to worry about it as it was just another façade on top of my current one. She looked upset and down about Reggie, but never really spoke to me about it. She just carried on with her day to day tasks and what not. Things for me were not that mundane, in fact it got more complicated.

Things were quiet for the Kray's "business", but their bar/ club were still running as usual. It was quieter during the day time while I worked at the Double R club: the Ivy house, except when Ron was yelling at Leslie. I was scared at first, but Gerry and the other boys being there grounded me. He kept going on about wanting to build a city…in Anugu? I can see what everyone was talking about. He was mad. It showed me I would need to stay well away from him. His reasoning and logic does not make sense at times. I did not know how Leslie coped with him like that.

I really felt that things were falling apart without Reggie running things around here. Strangely I felt safer when he was around.

Then things quickly escalated from here, the nightmare was just beginning. Mad Teddy approached me one night at Esmeraldas barn. He caught me by surprise, and especially when the other boys working with me had gone to either change the barrels or to stock up on more bottles. What did I do? I froze of course. Why did he approach me? … "it's alright sweetheart…I don't bite…" he said with a smirk and continued, "well… are you going to serve me?" I then nodded. I walked up closer and felt his eyes on me, then he requested, "whisky on the rocks thanks." You could hear me fumbling and shaking as you could hear the ice clanking against the scooper. I poured the drink and handed it to him while looking down. His hand had to touch mine, didn't it? I panicked and dropped the class. People around quickly looked and went back to their business. After fixing Teddy with a new drink, I looked up and saw Ronnie staring our way. That was the last time that our exchanges were just stares, smirks, nods and what not.

When I got home that night, Frances was still up. She was sitting at her dresser deep in thought. I dropped my things on the bed and sat down. "What's on your mind Frances?" I asked her. She looked up and sighed, "it…it's about Reggie. I visited him today. I saw Ronnie the other day and he said Reggie told me not to visit him. I couldn't not visit him. So I did...he had…stitches in his face and he…was beaten up…" I sat there silently. "He…he also said he loved me…" She looked up and smiled. I smiled back, "sorry, Frances, I don't know what to say…I..." She then cut me off, "It is okay. You always listen and that is helpful as it is. You look tired. You better get some rest". I smiled at her and did not protest. I got up and had a shower and went to bed. I was exhausted.

I was so anxious to go to work after that encounter. I did not have any clue why it happened, well eventually I did. But for that time being, I really needed to get to work. I needed to fly under the radar. I had hoped it was a random once off thing, but it was not. I walked in that day and made no eye contact with anyone and dived straight into work to keep myself busy. It was the usual yelling match between Ronnie and Leslie again, but that day I did not mind it. Any distraction is good. Leslie stormed out yet again and silence crept in. I was just about to sneak off for a break before Mad Teddy called for me, "oi! New boy! Come here and serve us some tea!" I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around. I saw him gesturing for me to go over there. Gerry spoke up, "Elliot is on a break…I'll serve you". RELIEF! I turned before hearing Ronnie speak up this time, "no, no! the new boy is to serve us tea!" Gerry looked at me and sighed, "go on…you heard him" I stopped breathing for a moment, then replied "b...b… bbb...but we don't serve tea…" Gerry walked away and then came back and placed the tea jar on the bar bench, "we do, we only have em here to serve the boys. Specifically, Ron and all" I didn't move. Gerry looked at me again, "well come one lad!" Everyone was watching. I slowly made the tea and made my way over.

As I was serving the tea, my hands were shaking. I hated that I was weak. I bet they all preyed on the weak ones. All I could smell was the cigar near them. I went to swipe the smoke out of the way before I saw Ronnie intently staring at me. This made me nervous. I was so nervous that he would have suspected something. "You even serve tea so nicely…" Ronnie suddenly said as he took another puff of his cigar. My eyes shot up at him quickly and I placed the tea pot down. I then looked down, speechless and scared. "…I've been watching you work. You work so elegantly" I then quickly smiled nervously and grabbed my forearm to ground myself. "it's a compliment darling" Mad Teddy chimed in.

Ronnie spoke again, "the names Elliot right?" I nodded and worked up the courage to reply, "yes…I mean yes Mr. Kray" "Call me Ron…" He continues to smoke and talk, "Look here Elliot, I have a proposition for you here …I would like you to work at my parties by catering drinks and nibblies for my guests…" My eyes shot open. Why would be offer such a thing…my mind was blank. "well, go on…reply" Mad Teddy chimed in again. "I…respectively...d...decline...Mr. Kray. Thank you…you see I really am very clums…" He cut me off before I could finish. "Again, please call me Ron. If you could show me, you work well at my parties, I will make you my driver…." He takes another puff, knowing that his got me before continuing, "…you wanted to be gangster…didn't you?"

Well the answer was obvious from here on isn't it. I had to take this opportunity before Reggie returned. I thought to myself that time, Reggie would not agree to this. I was so consumed by hate for George Cornell, that I agreed. Again, what the fuck was thinking. Mad Teddy then gave me a paper with instructions before they took off. I held the paper tightly in my hand. At that time, I thought it was a great opportunity. But really, it was the beginning of me falling deeper into the rabbit hole.

The week after our first conversation (if you would call it that) was long. I did not tell Frankie or Frances about it. For some reason I only waited to see James to talk to him about it. That week finally passed and I saw James just before work. I dragged him into the staff room, "geeze! Bit rough today are we?" James says. "James…I agreed to work for Ronnie Kray…something about catering at his parties? Any tips to survive it?", I asked him while my hands were tightly gripped around his arms. His face looked shocked while pushed both of my hands down before continuing, "you what? Elliot, you do know what his "parties" are don't you?" I looked at him with a blank face, clearly I did not at that time. He sighed and continued, "these so called parties are actually orgies…you…you really are clueless aren't you…how'd you manage to catch his attention anyways…" Before I could open my mouth, Ronnie walks in and took his cigar out of his mouth, then looks up. James looked at me and then him, "could we help you …" Ronnie puts his hand up with the cigar in it, "yes, I would like to speak to Elliot…alone" James sighs and then leaves.

I stood there feeling like dead meat, he was in the door way and I was…well alone with nowhere to go. He continued to smoke while he stared at me. I wished he'd just say something already. The silence was too much for me so I spoke up, "Mr. Kray…what could…I do for you" He snapped out of whatever he was thinking about, "many things…For now, I need you to keep quiet about our arrangement" My heart sunk. I hoped at that moment, he did not overhear my conversation with James. "uhh, yes Mr. Kray. I will not discuss it with anyone…" I replied, and luckily it seemed to me that he did not overhear my conversation with James. He slowly walked up to me, and too close for my comfort. He was slightly, just slightly taller than me, and I still felt like he towered over me. "Good…not even Frances…you hear…I don't want my brother hearing about this…especially through Frances. Otherwise your chance of becoming a gangster is gone…" He said it in his deep husky voice while leaning in. I looked up confused after he said that.

In hindsight I should of just nodded, but my facial expression would have indicated that I did not understand the reasoning. It would have caused Ronnie to become paranoid and concerned. He continued to walk behind me. He looked like he needed to desperately control the situation, "you look…like you don't understand. Let me explain, Elliot. If Frances was to plea to or tell Reggie, wouldn't that make him angry?" He continued to circle around me, "…he would wonder why she is so concerned about you. Who knows if he has forgotten about the hugging incident" My eyes opened wide, yes, he has hit a sore spot. He was right. I needed to fly under the radar with Reggie. I thought to myself at the time, what if Reggie felt that she continually needed to protect me? What if he did not believe I was 'gay'. Sticking with Ronnie would…make him believe that I was 'gay'? "ahh…I see that you are starting to get me…not to worry Elliot. Stick with me, I'll help you be a gangster" He placed his hand on my shoulder before walking out of the room. My mind was foggy after that conversation. Mad Teddy must of told him about me and Frances. I was completely caught in his web…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I did as I was instructed by Ronnie. I did not mention anything to Frances or Frankie. I did not get to speak to James that night, and it was probably a good thing. I did however see him on the street the day after just before work. I quickly ran up to him after I spotted him. I trusted him, and made the decision to tell him about what Ronnie said the night before. James just sighed and looked down, "why didn't you say no? his got a fixation on you now…" I watched his expressions, but could not tell him why I agreed. I couldn't do it. What? tell him I wanted to become gangster to avenge my parents and uncle…. No, I couldn't do it… even though I trusted him. "He did not take no for an answer…" I looked up at him. He sighed again and wanted to say something and then decided not to, "heads up, Ronnie just entered the club and spotted us. Don't want him to be paranoid, do you?" I shook my head and we both went straight to work.

That night Esmeraldas barn was packed again, and busy. It was probably a good thing as my mind was so loaded. My attention was somehow brought to the fact that Ronnie and Mad Teddy was not sitting in their usual spots, then Ronnie made his way on stage. What followed was well, probably the reason why things went south for Esmeraldas barn. He pretty much insulted the rich and famous. Mad Teddy was encouraging him and was laughing madly. I guess there was a reason why he got the name 'Mad teddy', and why he got along with Ronnie so much. I remember seeing Leslie hanging his head and rubbing his face in disbelief. I think everyone was gobsmacked about what happened. To be honest, I felt quite embarrassed. It did not look good at all.

Not many people showed up after that. Work was quiet, and the air felt heavy. I asked for some time off and that was approved. I never got to speak to James before my break, but I really wanted to speak to him. I also wished that Reggie was back. I thought to myself then, why did I feel safe with Reggie, even though I feared him. I made it a goal after that to make myself back to his good books. I convinced myself that working for Ronnie would help me.

My break was nearly over, and it was the last day before I returned to work. Frances was sitting at her dresser and I was laying on the bed reading. Frances was brought out of her thoughts when we heard clanking noises from the window. She looked at me before making her way to the window. Then I heard, "you're free?" REGGIE? HIS BACK? I sat there listening to them and when I heard him climb up that water pipe, I panicked and rolled off my bed onto the floor. He asked Frances to marry him. I was happy for them, but hoped they'd finish up already. I felt my face go red from hearing them kiss. I never have been kissed before and always wondered what it'd be like, or who it'd be with, and all. They eventually finished, and Frances turned around to me with the biggest smile on her face. She pranced towards me with her hand out, and showed me the ring. We then jumped around in excitement and joy.

I returned to work the next day, and oh my my! It was so empty! What has become of this once flourishing club?! Oh, that's right, Ronnie ran it to the ground. Some of the boys was standing by the bar. The air felt horrible. I stood there drying the cups looking at the dancers, and they looked great. I started self-pitying again, wishing how I'd look more feminine. My thoughts were distracted when Reggie and Frances came through the door, and took us all by surprise. I mean, I knew he was back, but I didn't see him when he came to propose to Frances. Reggie looked like he has buffed up, and was charming as ever. I nearly dropped the cup out of my hand because I was too busy looking at Reggie. I hopped he had forgiven me about hugging Frances, but I don't think that was on his mind at the time. He looked mad. The boys and I continued working, acting as if everything was 'normal'.

I overheard Leslie talking to Reggie, and you could see Reggie getting increasingly angry. I gathered by the tone of their voice and facial expressions, that it was regarding their 'business'. I suspected Ronnie would be feeling somewhat guilty at this point, and somewhere in his chaotic mind, I would gather that he knew he fucked things up. So, I gazed over at his usual spot, and confirming my thoughts, Teddy and he were watching closely. Ronnie then lifted his glass to Reggie, whom decided to storm off with Frances.

Ronnie didn't seem to like that. He got up and toasted Reggie, who was extremely pissed off. Ronnie rambled on again with his disorganised speech and all. But what I interpreted was that Ronnie tried to defend himself, and was strangely upset by the fact that Reggie was…becoming distant from him? I came to that deduction because he started directing abuse towards Frances. He said some horrible things, which led to Reggie asking for an apology towards Frances, and that didn't happen. What happened next was all too fast. They started fighting of course…

By the time, they were done…well by the time Reggie put an end to it, Frances had stormed off. I was just about to run after her, but reminded myself that I couldn't comfort her, not now. Reggie strangely shot me a quick glance when he got up from comforting Ronnie. Was he seeing if I would run after her? He suspecting something? He walked back and forth cursing before storming out. Everyone was still processing about what had just occurred before them. The boys decided to go back to drinking and smoking, some decided to help Ronnie and sat him down.

I was just about to turn around before I heard my name. Teddy was signalling me to clean Ronnie's face up. Why was it always me? Everyone was watching me, so I wiped my hands and grabbed a wet clean cloth before walking around the bar, and up to him. I stopped right as I got up to him. He sat there hunched over and I thought to myself that this is the closest that I ever got up to him. Well, it was not the closest I've gotten to him and it won't be the last time. He smelt of blood. "Well…go on…clean him up…" Teddy instructed me then gestured towards Ronnie. I kneeled beside him and tried to find his face behind his hair and bloody mess. I began to pat at his face lightly while I strategically manoeuvred around his hair. He did not flinch or seem to register that I was there, and truthfully, I preferred it that way. When I tried to brush his hair away again, he shot his hand up and grasped by wrist and looked at me. I froze of course, but I did try to pull away. That did not work out well because I fell forward from pulling too hard. He started at me with no expression before letting go. He took the cloth I was using and stood up. "Teddy…take me home..." he demanded before he threw the cloth. He looked down at me before walking off.

Things seemed to go back to normal again. That was once Leslie and Reggie fixed up the mess Ronnie has caused. It…was kind of nice? It was a sigh of relief knowing that Reggie was in charge again…But that did not change the nightmare that was about to unravel. Since that 'incident' Ron or Teddy have not approached me, and I preferred it to be that way. Ron had been quiet, but that did not last long.

Well, safe to say, Reggie and Frances made up. Ronnie and Frances just acknowledged each other's existence, but did not really interact. She never really talked to be about that night after it, but selfishly…that was the least of my worries.

So, Ronnie's silence did not last long, the long-dreaded encounter eventually happened. One night during work Teddy approached me in the staff from and just gave me a paper note. It was strangely a silent exchange. On it was Ronnie's address and instructions for me to serve his guests in his apartment for his 'party' after work tonight. James was not around and I did not dare to speak to Frances…what do I do? I did not want to do it, but I was desperate to get involved so I can take my revenge. Well, I couldn't back out, could I? I mean I already accepted it, and saying 'no' to Ronnie was suicide.

I kept my uniform on as that was what I was instructed to do so, and I guess it makes sense if I was to be serving drinks or what not. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, how in the world did I get myself so deep into this…ha! Well Elise! You're going to spiral deeper than this…

Before I knew it, I was at the apartment block and worked up the courage to make my way up. I heard noises coming from his apartment, my guesses told me I was not in the wrong place. I slowly walked in dodging looks from his guests, but I was too distracted by how interestingly 'glamourous' his apartment looked and then it clicked. This…party…is…an orgy, right? That was what James told me, and I panicked a little. I am what you call…innocent? I have never done anything in my life or witnessed it, and yet I am here…serving people involved in an orgy.

The party did not seem 'out of hand just yet', maybe the steaminess would start later…I did not know how to describe it, I do not have a vocabulary for anything sexual…I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name, "Elias! Over here..." Ronnie called. I nodded and made my way over. He looked…relaxed and not so dressed up, but still dressy. His tie was loose and his vest was unbuttoned. I was observing him when Teddy got up from the couch to show me what I needed to do.

I got straight into it and was so pleased that Ronnie was 'distracted' by other means. I just focused on cleaning up, serving drinks and making sure, I was doing a good job. I was just focused on revenging my parents and uncle Eddie.

The night went on, and things became…frisky. There were things I wish I did not witness. I was not disturbed by the same sex intimacy, but more so by what Ronnie was up too…

 **Hi guys...**

 **Didn't think about leaving comments, but I'd like to say sorry for the late update! Please let me know how the story is going... I have in my mind that this story will be re-edited...especially because how poorly it is written! I am furiously reading lots of books to learn to write better!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed!**

 **Xox**


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